Written by Sarah on February 23, 2011
The Bassmaster Classic is over and I figured I’d grab the microphone here while Dave’s voice is still recovering. With a record-setting KVD win in the books (yawn – old news), it’s important that we keep up the excitement before the regular season starts in Florida in a couple of weeks.
The question is: how do you keep the excitement rolling? We’ve decided that the best way is to be self-congratulatory like every other industry and give out some made-up awards to some of our own. Accordingly, here’s our ceremony (cue up pompous music). Billy Crystal and Steve Martin were scheduled to host, but had to have emergency gallbladder surgery and root canal, respectively. Then I asked Dave to help out, and he uttered some words I can’t print on a family website. Accordingly, you’re left with me, dear reader.
But what to call the awards? Other industries have the Oscars, the Emmys and the Tonys. Since I’m the founder, host and driving force behind these awards, I was tempted to call them the Peteys, but I’m not sure I’ve earned my stripes yet, so I’ve decided to call them “The Rolands.”
In no particular order, the winners are as follows:
The Kelly Jordon Award goes to….Brandon Palaniuk. The young Federation Nation angler proved his mettle on the pond, but the point of this award is to recognize that Elite Series angler whose name is likely to be misspelled the most. Jordon/Jordan is the clear standard-setter in this category, but Kriet/Kreit isn’t far behind. Brandon has the added benefit that his last name will likely be mispronounced in addition to misspelled.
The Best Hair (Head) Award goes to….Travis Manson. The dude, who was absolutely everywhere in New Orleans, consistently looks like he just took a 75mph boat ride to Venice in a cross-wind.
The Best Hair (Facial) Award goes to….Mike Iaconelli. The 70s porn ‘stache is epic. I was disappointed that his Classic entrance music wasn’t BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW.
The Name Mercer Will Have the Most Fun with On Stage Award goes to….Ott Defoe. I once vowed that if my wife and I ever had a kid we wouldn’t name it Bart or Art (especially if she was a girl). Just too easy to rhyme with “fart.” But both “Ott” and “DeFoe” lend themselves to great wordplay by Mr. Mercer. Speaking of which, what rhymes with “Mercer”?
The Angler You’d Most Like to Room With if You Like to Eat Award goes to….there was tough competition in this category. Peter T used to be a chef. Scroggins and VanDam both claim to be masters of the grill. But J Todd Tucker (no period after the “J”) takes this title via his Big Green Egg sponsorship. Throw a few racks of ribs on it in the morning, maybe some chicken wings, even a pile of blueberry muffin mix and when you come off the water a gourmet meal is waiting for you. No nabs, no vienna sausages, no green apple quickstep in your future.
The Best Coaches Shorts Award goes to….Tommy Biffle, running away with it.
The Chris Berman Award Goes to….Pete “Backwater” Ponds over Kevin Wirth “the wait.” Since he now fishes FLW, Mike Wurm is no longer eligible.
Thank you for voting, and for voting often.
What categories did I miss? Want the inside skinny on your favorite pro? Comment here or shoot me an email and Dave and I will come up with a PG-13 rated response.
This blog was written by Facts of Fishing blogger and all around great guy, Pete Robbins.